Ah-Choo!

Monday's ordinary thing is sneezing. Not long ago I met a woman who sneezes like this: "AH-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo!" Seriously. I counted the "choo's." She sneezed several times in my company and all the sneezes were exactly the same.

What is it about sneezing that makes it so unique to the individual? Some people are loud sneezers. Some stomp or trumpet like an elephant. Some sneeze in tickly little bursts.

And let's not forget sneeze blessings. In ancient times it was believed that an evil spirit would enter your body when you sneezed, unless you were protected by the prescribed blessing. Nowadays there are "Gesundheit's" and "Bless You's" and motherly folks who hand you kleenex, and also those who ignore you completely.

If you are a sneeze blesser, there seems a proper time to bless and a time not to. Should you bless a sneezer in the elevator? The library? What about a co-worker? What about in a grocery store? It always seems to bring you a little closer, when a perfect stranger blesses your sneeze or you bless theirs. But it's a bit precarious.

Which makes me think of the people I know who live alone, whose sneezes don't get blessed. Are their souls more vulnerable, then, with repeated unblessed sneezes? Other questions: Can you sneeze without closing your eyes? If not, then how safe are you when driving with a sneezy person? And when it comes to a sneezy person, what was up with that Disney Dwarf anyway? Allergies? How sad is that? How would you like your whole life defined by your allergies, not to mention your very name?

Sneezing. Induce a sneeze with cayenne, or wait until the next time you have to sneeze, or just fake-sneeze. Write about it. Set a timer for ten minutes. Without thinking, put down everything that comes into your mind, connected or not.